“Happy Wife, Happy Life” – Take care of your team to achieve your biggest goals
Originally posted on LinkedIn by Eric Partaker. Image Created by Sébastien Rowet.
I love the phrase “happy wife, happy life” – to me it’s a reminder that we are interconnected and the happiness or satisfaction of those around us matters and affects our own happiness and satisfaction. In the workplace, I consider staff and employees to be “the wife.” Over the past year, I’ve worked with a few disgruntled teams that are deep in conflict. They describe feeling discouraged that they haven’t been able to breakthrough and move forward. As the workforce continues to shift and change, so do the expectations of staff. Many staff, especially those of younger generations (millennials and gen z), are expressing a desire for more collaborative work environments and to do work that is meaningful and impactful. While these seem like simple asks, this is shift (re: change) from how we’ve been doing work-- where we show up to the job and do the work as told. Additionally, I’ve encountered leaders who are struggling to change the way they lead to fully leverage and maximize the gifts, talents, and ultimately, outputs of their team. Here are a few common and small changes teams are making to move forward.
Transparent decision making.
In the midst of change, communication is often negatively affected. Sometimes workforce shortages create urgency or actual crises which can require quick and fast decision making – we don’t always make the best decision under pressure. Some organizations have grown from small collaborative teams to larger teams with levels of directors and managers. This means people are not engaged in the same decision-making conversations they used to be a part of. While not everyone can, or needs, to be a part of decision making, staff still desire to know what decisions need to be made and how leaders are coming to their decisions. This request for information can feel like being questioned, as if others don’t agree with the decision; however, these are relevant questions that should be considered when making a decision. If you can’t answer these questions, it is a sign to slow down the decision-making process. In my work with teams, leaders are making agreements to clarify what decisions need to be made, which decisions will need input and conversation from the team, and sharing the reasoning behind decisions they make when they don’t require the input from the team.
Acknowledging missteps and challenges that are affecting staff.
As a person actively working on improving my relationships with others, being accountable to my actions and accepting that my actions had a negative impact on others has been really challenging. I know not everyone has this problem but I often see staff frustrated with leaders who do not take accountability, which can require more than an apology. Acknowledging and taking accountability for missteps and challenges are essential for building psychological safety. In Adam Grant’s book Think Again, he states some of the most effective leadership strategies for creating psychology safety include leaders asking for feedback, admitting challenges out loud and a public commitment to remain open to feedback, and normalizing vulnerability. In this video, he points out an important perspective to keep in mind which is, if you’ve made a mistake you might as well talk about it because most of the time everyone already knows. Take a moment to consider what it would take for you to be able to proactively take accountability for missteps and challenges with others.
Work with your team to discover what changes to make.
Managing unsatisfied staff is a challenge, especially when change is needed or necessary. I’ve worked with leaders who recognize the need for more processes and/or structure but feel overwhelmed with the task of creating them. As I work with leaders, I remind them that they can create a new or desired workplace culture by collaboratively deciding as a team how they do their work together. This can look like coming up with a group agreement – an agreement will establish who, will do what when (i.e. Rachael will write a blog by Friday). It can also look like reviewing new and old processes and procedures as a group and ensuring everyone understands the purpose of the process, adjusting it as needed. A robust strategic planning process is a great way to understand the needs of your team or staff, get into alignment about the future of the organization, and create a plan that everyone is excited to work through.
The majority of the teams or organizations I’ve supported through conflict this year has had to make one of the three changes to truly resolve conflict and feel confident moving forward. Some of these conversations can be hard to get through-- remember it’s okay to ask for help. A facilitator or consultant to help you discover the root of the conflict or manage a hard conversation. Leadership can be lonely and isolating -- leaders can work with a professional coach to feel more confident managing change. Teams and organizations can work with a consultant to identify priorities, support the creation of processes and structure, and work alongside you through strategic planning. If you’re curious or interested in making a change to support your team, reach out to me or my colleagues at The Spark Mill. We’d love to help make that change happen!