Reflections from ‘Burnout’
I was recently recommended Emily and Amelia Nagoski’s book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle which is focused on helping people, specifically women, understand how to deal with stress in their everyday lives. It was recommended to me by a close friend and it has been transformative in helping the way I view stress in my life. It has also given me some tools and tips on handling stress and releasing it, or completing the stress cycle as the Nagoskis’ call it. The book as a whole has useful and practical insights, but I want to focus on the term they use often in the book called “completing the stress cycle.” This terminology has been revolutionary for how I think about stress in my life and it might be useful for you as well.
The stress cycle is what the Nagoskis’ refer to as the events an individual goes through when they are experiencing stress. Generally, the cycle is supposed to look like a normal day, then an individual experiences a moment of stress which raises their heart rate and adrenaline and causes them to fight, flight, or freeze. After the stressful event is over or the individual has gotten away from the stressor, their body acknowledges it is safe and the brain and body are able to relax. The issue that people are having nowadays is there is no calming back down effect after dealing with the stressor. The problem, the Nagoskis’ say, is not the stress or stressor itself, but it is instead being stuck in the feeling of it that is bad for you. Stress is normal for the body, getting trapped in the stress cycle is what is causing harm to your body and mind. To move out of the state of constant stress, you need to find some ways to close the loop and complete the cycle.
The Nagoskis’ offer several ways to close the cycle: physical activity, breathing, positive social interaction, laughter, affection, crying, and creative expression. Physical activity is one of the best ways to close the cycle because stress often appears in the body, so one way to mitigate it is to move your body, but there are plenty of ways to help close the stress cycle. Another option the Nagoskis’ recommend, if you hate exercise or don’t have the capacity for it, is to lay on your bed and then progressively tense your muscles for a slow count of ten seconds. You should do this multiple times and focus on areas where you carry your stress and hold those muscles for longer. You can still complete the cycle without doing a run or jumping jacks. You can try to ignore your stress as long as you want, but your stress doesn’t ignore you. It will still exist in your body if you don’t focus on closing the cycle. Getting stuck is a way to prolong the often painful experience stress has on your mind and body.
I make sure to do one of the tactics the authors outlined every day, whether I’m aware of any stress or not, because it makes me feel better. It also helps remind me that stress in my life is temporary and that more often than not, I need to complete the cycle for the stress to pass. As a reminder, this is not a solution for ridding yourself of stress, that is nearly impossible, but it is a useful way to manage stress that you cannot get rid of and take care of yourself in the long run. So, how are you completing the stress cycle in your life?